Pearl Harbor. December 7th 1941, Pearl Harbor on Oahu island, Hawaii. You know the story. And if you don't... well, you're lame. Though apparently, in 1941, when told that the Japanese had destroyed Pearl Harbor, actress Joan Crawford replied, “Oh dear, who was she?”. Not exactly the brightest crayon in my baby sister's box. 'Nuff said.So, it occurs to me, what should my blog about Pearl Harbor REALLY be about if everybody already knows about. Aside from that actress. I mean, really, the point of these blogs is to LEARN SOMETHING. And do you know what I decided? What went down at Pearl Harbor BEFORE the attack on Pearl Harbor. That's right.I'm sure you're all acquainted with the US's dirty past with the Hawaiian islands. I mean seriously, we want ya so we're just gonna take ya! ... it was a really poo face move. So naturally before it was American territory it had some sweet culture and silly names for things. Before it was Americanized as 'Pearl Harbor' it was known as Wai Momi or Pu'uloa. I dare you to say that correctly ten times fast. Or even just once. Even THAT would be impressive. Hawaii wasn't initially considered a good naval base because of its shallow waters.
Unfortunately America started expanding and we became very interested in the money to be made in Hawaii. Even more unfortunate, we became even more interested in protecting the moneys we had there. After the US annexed Hawaii in the ultimate money-making-move, Pearl Harbor was outfitted for more warships and renamed Naval Station, Hawaii. Prior to WWII, the port was actually used more by merchant ships than the actual navy. Go figure.Alrighty. So on the timeline we're still before WWII. The U.S. is worried about Japan because they're getting to be pretty strong in Asia. In Hitler's words, "They were becoming the Germany of Asia." Well obviously those aren't his real words. Otherwise there would be like a bajillion German suffixes. Suffii? Suffices? ... Anyway... In 1933 the US Navy set up a mock attack on Pearl Harbor, you know, pretending to be Japan and the defense of the base was considered an 'epic fail'. My words. Not theirs. Or were they? ... So after that, I guess they did nothing about improving their tactics because only eight years later the Japanese totally pwned Pearl Harbor. Bummer.
And THAT is what most people would say brought the US into World War Two. Though conspiracy theorists say it was all a set up and the government just wanted to go to war to... well, to go to war. And besides, it was cloudy that day and you couldn't tell if it was really red circles on those planes or American flags. Riiiiiiight....So there you have it. Pearl Harbor pre-Pearl Harbor. Exhilarating. I know. And what has Danielley learned? Along with every male historical figure EVER committing infidelity at some point in his life, there is literally a conspiracy theory for EVERYTHING. Awkward turtle.
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